Thoughts#1 behind "My Bed Is An Island"

#1

Thank you for spending time with me and yourself.

Thank you for spending time with plants from Black Wood.

In life,

We are all lost.

We are all trapped.

We are all alone.

I feel trapped in the city. I am isolated and alienated in it.

I’m not going to tell you that I’m with you.

Because you are the only one can be with yourself all the time.

Before I went to Blackwood, I thought of Aokigahara Forest, which is also known as the Sea of Trees. It’s not relevant to Blackwood directly. Aokigahara Forest is a suicide forest in Japan. Hundreds of people come there to commit suicide every year. Most of them stay in the forest and never leave. I was questioned that why people tired of life come to a distant place to end their lives. People come to the same place to kill themselves because they don’t want to die alone. Even they are going to end their lives soon, they still want to belong to a group, not being isolated.

However, we all die alone. We are all alone all the time.

Still, we keep looking for someone and something in common in order to survive.

#1

感謝你與我共度這段時光，更重要你也與自己共度了這段時光

也感謝你與 Black Wood 的植物們共度這段時光

生活本身就是一場迷途

同時我們也陷於囹圄之中

並且總是獨自面對一切

與其說我是居於城市之中，不如說我是被困於城市之中

我獨自地佇立於此，同時也與此地如此的遙遠與疏離

此時的我，也並非與你同在

能無時無刻與你共度時光的永遠都只有你自己

在日本，有一座自殺森林「青木原樹海」，而在來到 Black Wood之前，我腦中就不斷浮現青木原樹海，或許是下意識地想到樹林就聯想到這個地方，每年有數百人選擇來到此地結束自己的生命，而其中的大多數人進入了樹林後就再也沒有離開，我對於這樣的行為一直很好奇與困惑，我困惑的並不是「自殺」這個行為本身，而是選擇來到「遙遠之地」結束生命這個行為讓我產生疑惑。即使是厭倦於生活的人都希望自己在人生中的最後一刻是歸屬於某個群體的，他們嚮往與期望自己成為某個群體中的一份子，而並非如過去居於城市中孤自一人的姿態，無論生與死，話雖如此，但我們一直都是獨自邁向死亡的，我們也總是只有我們自己一人，不過，為了獲得繼續存在的理由，我們總是在生活中尋找共鳴以能繼續生活。